I recently attended a social gathering with my wife that had a lot of people that I hadn’t met before (I was there as wife-support). I engaged in several conversations that evening, and the most popular question directed my way was, “What do you do?” When I was younger, I tried to answer this question in a way that would make me appear more important than I actually was. I think we all do this from time to time to avoid being perceived as an Average Joe. However, as I’ve gotten older, I am as vague as possible about what I do unless I size you up as someone who is interesting or can assist me in some way (the exception to this is if I’m actually meeting someone for business, in which case, I am very direct and will answer any questions about my role with the company).
The reason why I am so vague about what I do is because I really don’t care what you do for a living. This may sound harsh, but let me explain. I will make my judgment about a person without having to know anything about their career. In fact, I prefer to judge someone by the way the way they engage in the conversation, the way they listen, speak, gesture, and think on their feet. The way they engage in the conversation and how they present themselves usually tells me a lot more than whatever job title they happen to be throwing around.
A good example of this happened when I met a guy I will call Tom. He came right out of the gate by saying that he was a vice president. He was intent on making sure that I understood that he was someone special, someone far above the Average Joe. Throughout the conversation, he managed to include the following information about himself:
• He had a degree from an Ivy League school
• He and his wife had just bought a very expensive house in a great neighborhood
• They had just moved from California and couldn’t believe the cost of living here (hence, he had even more money now)
• He was really looking to assume a leadership role in his new community
In summary, If Tom had never mentioned his job title, I would still have been able to discern that he was a pompous ass. I’m not sure why people feel the need to impress their importance on others. I feel this need too. It’s just that I stopped trying to impress people with what I do for a living; now, I just try to make a good impression for who I am. I like to think that this wouldn’t change even if I were a well-paid CEO. But you never know until you’ve worn the other shoe, so I will be accepting any offers for the CEO position of any Fortune 500 company. Just send the offer by clicking on the “Contact Me” tab.
6:28 pm
If you happen to get multiple CEO offers and can’t take both feel free to send one my way.
In my experience with people, it’s the one’s who prove themselves through their actions instead of their words that usually have the most going for themselves. I don’t know if this is because as I’ve felt, the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know and still have to learn. Or, perhaps, it’s a simple sense of humility and self confidence that keeps people from boasting about all their possible success and accomplishment.
I’ve found there’s a time and place where self promotion is important. I tended(or tend) to play down some of my experience or success sometimes, and after people have gotten to know me they wondered why it took so long to learn I had experience in X or Y or did A, B, and C. So, I’d say some humility and listening instead of always talking is in order, but there comes a time and place to stand up and be proud of who you and what you’ve done, are doing, and will do.